Outward appearance

Lately ive been feeling... to put it bluntly fat
ive gained weight since rugby has been cancelled i havent had constant training to do
so yeah the inevitable happened

Running, its very boring, its hard but rewarding
as your running and that sweat tracks down the side of your head you know your working
i went for a run today which is what i hope to be the first in a daily activity

I thought i had accomplished a fair bit but as i get home, my parents tell me i should be running more and longer, i just started what do they expect, kind of put a downer on to my already self concious self

parents aye

Jealousy

Jealousy

Man can it burn
Tearing down walls like no session of therapy can
Its so raw and unvinited
Such an honest gut emotion, it knows what it wants, it knows its purpose...
Its unkind and brutal
Sometimes it can be welcome, a release from the normal unaffected demeanor
Its the thing that grows when feelings are witheld
It prays on doubt on the frailty of our being
Its an emotion so its inescapable
Its impossible not to encounter it

and so it should be... it breaks things, it destroys relationships, it cripples
it cuts...
and so it should be

it is often said.. heroes are only measured against their villians
the greater the villian the greater strength required from the hero
the greater the price the higher the personal cost

Be the hero

Rise above all the pettyness, rise above the gut reaction to a situation you dont like
be valiant
be strong.
be courageous
be scared

Do all the things you cant, look at what you dont have, and go after it

There are things in this life we will never attain, things simply beyond our grasp because the person next to us fell down trying to get them
Dont fall
But if you do.... Fall from the top

Challenge

I want to write something... so inspirational, so wonderful, so just purely brilliantly pure
that change is inevitable
im searching for it, will post when i can change the world ...

Fire

Above all other animals, humans were the first to ignore their instincts
The first to use fire as a tool rather than fear it
going against millions of years of genetics, we used it rather than succumb to it.
going against base fear, base instincts, base passions.
if we could do it then why is it so hard now.
Why do these base emotions rule our lives
why does our hunger for fleshy things
extinguish the thought and reason that existed before thought and reason
Martin Luther king said that "it is out light not our darkness that most frightens us"

The ability to do good does not always result in it being done
Although it can
Rise out of the darkness
Rise into the light
Overcoming those base, those prehistoric instincts has served us so well.
The amazing advances are beyond comprehension and the potential is even more.
We know the answers to lifes questions
We just choose to write the wrong ones

Such a simple thing, the use of fire has given us the world we now have.
Why not do it again
Why is the impulse for instant gratification so accepted, when a fuffilled life is just a choice away

Be the light
As to extinguish the darkness
Because if you do not shine.
Everything around you fades

Beginning To Feel

My first blog.

What to write... well here goes.

Majesty
As i utter that word a holiness falls
a beauty unsurpassed by anything mortal eyes can see.
A beauty felt
A beauty lived
Majesty
As i utter that word i praise
As i utter that word i fail
I fall miserably before the highest seat
Yet from atop the highest heights... he comes down
Among the filth
Among the hate
Among the real
He chose to sit
Not to stand amongst
but to bow to those who would sell him
Silver and gold
Lions and the lamb
Perfection and profanity
The king.

Jesus our lord and savior walked upon us not as king but as a servant, he became the lowest of the already so low. How could one who washed the feet of many so small, be anything but perfection.

For me... Lord... i am ever grateful and although i may not show it all the time, although i fall... i fall to you lord.
I know you know...
And that's the beauty of you
YOU know...
Not only what i have done... what i will do...
You have read the novel of my life seen the horror, the comedy, and the tragedy and chosen to finish the story.
At every moment of my life... you loved.
For this my almighty host
I am ever grateful.