Love, Fable

My Friend said to me

I find it so hard to be real with people, because they know that others expect them to be so perfect, and i don't actually mean perfect but practically perfect
My Friends friends say
"Oh such and such never complains" "They are always so Nice"
"Never a Bad Word spoken"

They said to me "I cant be real, because that's not the me they know"

I'm sick of this being the truth, why cant we be real all the time
There are many reasons
Sometimes its a small problem and will go away if we ignore it, sometimes that's true
Sometimes its because we are so sick of dealing with it we just want to ignore it for a while

The last, we cant be real with everyone, we just cant, we don't trust the world enough
We have lost our faith in our fellow man

Satan's winning that one

Why don't i trust my neighbour enough to stay at their place when I'm locked out of mine
When did pleasantries stop being pleasant
When did i loose faith in people

When did people loose faith in me

Lets get back to it people, bbqs in the backyard
Knowing your neighbour
Where is the love

The Boy, The Man

Is to be in Love naive
Only to old eyes
But what about the Boy, Who's eyes were new
Would he agree
That Love is naive

Not the Boy the Man was, no not him
His Heart would cry, his anger would rise
If he saw his mirror he would ask

What cold wind closed your heart?
Why do you fear to feel, or to feel fear?
Up and Down is the way of the world
Who are you to be too tired

The Man would think the boy knew nothing

Silence your lips boy, pain is as foreign as hurt to you
In your eyes a rose twinge
In your heart open hands
Catching all thrown at you

The Boy screamed

Better to catch all pain, then to catch no love
Be the man I was born to be, BE the Boy who never became a man
a cynic you cannot act
not should you try
Do not fear the tears
She will be there to dry your eyes

The Boy and The Girl

She went to his house
and asked
Where is the boy, the boy i knew and the boy i loved

He answered, i know your face but not your heart

It was him, but not to her
To her, he was wrong
He was young but his heart was old

She said
You are the boy i seek, but you love not as one
Your heart is in your minds lashes
You are the man you never wanted to be

He replied
True, my mind ensnares my heart
To be young has the toll of growing old
The younger you are, the older you must grow

She asked
Why Boy, why are you the man i do not love

He replied
Because, I was not the boy you loved neither
Maybe i was... once, but not now
Now when the loves sun leaves
The night sets in
and the light which once illuminated my way
is replaced
and the way forgotten

So i crawled, for days and days
My muscles tore, my heart did bleed
The man you see
Is the boy who walked that path
No more

Alive she said... Alive, and in love you were, why boy
why boy
It is only the heart of a Boy any Girl can ever love
Girls have no Man but their father
They need the boy, that feels as they do
In Youth

I would be that boy again, could i open this account
Yet no call has been made
For its open
I never wished it closed
Nor did i believe it would be
But that it is

and the Girl Walked Home

Ocean Dredging For The Soul

So i tried it.
I talked to N, we fought for the first 20 minutes
Then we both apologised
Then I did something... I tried to be nice, so i asked her... How are you...
The awkwardness returned
I hated the experience, why are people not content with unspoken hostility... its just so much easier.
It feels so fake... being nice to her, am i lying to her, to myself.
Its Ocean Dredging For The Soul

Trent talking with Kate

Native "Blah" says: KATE KATE KATE
Native "Blah" says: KATE KATE KATE
Native "Blah" says: KATE KATE KATE
Native "Blah" says: KATE KATE KATE
Native "Blah" says: !!!!!!!!!!!
Native "Blah" says: !!!!!!!!!!!
Native "Blah" says: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Native "Blah" says: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Native "Blah" says:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Native "Blah" says: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Native "Blah" says: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Native "Blah" says: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Native "Blah" says: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Native "Blah" says: !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Native "Blah" says: !!!!!!!!!
Native "Blah" says: !!!!!!!!!
Native "Blah" says: KATE KATE KATE

You have just sent a nudge.

Kate ; Extreme Fun! says: haha hey
Native "Blah" says: OMG
Native "Blah" says: GOD IS SO FRIKIN AMAZING
Kate ; Extreme Fun! says:lol
Native "Blah" says:ok ok ok
Native "Blah" says:well
Native "Blah" says:wait
Native "Blah" says:do u have time to hear this story
Kate ; Extreme Fun! says:come on!!!!
Kate ; Extreme Fun! says:yup
Native "Blah" says:ok
Native "Blah" says:well
Native "Blah" says:ok lng stri but i held charlottes hand for asges, which is cute but was wrong to do
Kate ; Extreme Fun! says:well....
Native "Blah" says:because
Native "Blah" says:if i start being all couply now, then thers no real point waiting for god its jst like im lying to him
Native "Blah" says:so i told fraser
Native "Blah" says:and we sorted out after ages of talking
Native "Blah" says:that i have to invite her tochurch, and see how that goes and if she dosent really get a spark for itNative "Blah" says:
then thats my answer as far as dating her goes
Native "Blah" says:and i didnt like that answer
Native "Blah" says:i wanted it to be, yeah go for it bro
Native "Blah" says:so i was frustrated at god, but i said to him
Native "Blah" says:look i WANT it to be ok to date charlie
Native "Blah" says:BUT
Native "Blah" says:if its not meant to be, then i dont want it to be
Native "Blah" says:then i went to bed right
Kate ; Extreme Fun! says:aha
Native "Blah" says:andi wake up 2dae
Native "Blah" says:and theres mail for me
Kate ; Extreme Fun! says:yea
Native "Blah" says:and its from carey baptist, telling me i got accepted into intermission
Kate ; Extreme Fun! says:ahh!!!!!!
Native "Blah" says:and im flippin over the moon about it and i realise... god has had his hand over my life for EVER
Native "Blah" says:for all of it
Native "Blah" says:like think about it
Native "Blah" says:that trip stephen talked about, sports camp, learning maori, africa, my course next year, getting over nix
Native "Blah" says:and what tania said about pruining comes first
Native "Blah" says:and fruit comes later
Native "Blah" says:this is the fruit
Native "Blah" says:all that struggle
Native "Blah" says:over nix and all that,
Native "Blah" says:gods rewarding me
Native "Blah" says:its amazing, hes amazing
Native "Blah" says:and hes also
Native "Blah" says:not even just rewarded me
Native "Blah" says:but i got another piece of mail saying my school wants me 2 come back and get interviewd as a part of an english class
Native "Blah" says:and i realised
Native "Blah" says:that he also is saying, go speak about my
Native "Blah" says:me
Native "Blah" says:me as in god
Native "Blah" says:go speak about me
Native "Blah" says:OH MY LYF
Kate ; Extreme Fun! says:oh my gosh
Kate ; Extreme Fun! says:hahah thats amazing
Native "Blah" says:SO SO SO MUCH STUFF
Native "Blah" says:isnt it, but its not even that, its him
Native "Blah" says:hes amazing

Explosion

Sometimes, i get this feeling in, kind of in my spine, at the base of my spine
where i just want to explode... where a chain reaction rips my body apart.
its so intense and lasts not even a second.
it somehow seems to go up my spine so fast and lodge in my brain.
and its so painful, but its not there long enough for me to feel the pain.

and its when i think of GOD
He is just so enormous, i cant describe it and I'm afraid ATM that if i start to try, then i will get that feeling.
its like there is a funnel and GOD is pouring his entirety into my head, and i cant hold it.
there is to much to say, and not enough time.
even thsi feeble blog does him no good.
i look across the mangroves, and i think, the wat4er ripples precisley in time with the wind which moves the trees as i smell the wind.
what kind of GOD even thinks of physical matter... i cant explain him, but i thirst and hunger and NEED GOD, so much and i wish others were so addicted.

I just need him
HE is SO enormous, that there is nothing else

I wanted this blog to be amazing, its not, and it couldnt have been, hes to big
to fit on this screen.

How can two people in the same room, be so far apart and so close for they are the children of christ