Any of you who follow this blog PLEASE PLEASE read my other http://native-hauora.blogspot.com its rather long but is important to me at least.
God Bless
Monday, December 7, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Hey
For all of you who follow my blog firstly... why there SURELY has to be better writing to read, but secondly i have a new blog address. the reason being the ready availability of blogging means the standards of my writing have dropped and this blog i hope will be different
http://native-hauora.blogspot.com/
http://native-hauora.blogspot.com/
Friday, November 20, 2009
Love Song...
You scare me half to death when I think about saying your name
I can’t wipe away the cold sweat that holds me when you smile
Every time I think of you, smiles steal the frown from my face, and my heart tries to leap out of my chest to get back on your trail.
Frequent flyer miles fill my head with all the time I'm flying to your side
These moments are fleeting running out as fast as my hearts beating
But when we sit down the sand in your hair and the ocean on the piano keys
Musical sea breeze fills the air
I know that you’re leaving and we could be over but let’s take this moment and set it free
Because when I take your hand, and you take my heart, even though you don’t know it I never want to part.
I said goodbye one too many times, and now I'm locked in climbing vines
Pulling me higher away, till I cling to the stratosphere gasping from the lack of air way up high
But the pain in my temple can hardly resemble the tear in my heart
From this earth pulling me apart from you
But for all of my strength I still crush our love and you hide again
From the heart that beats everyday for you
Well I'm just a soldier a boy getting older
You’re just a girl in a parade whose beauty can’t fade
While I sit on the sidelines gun in my hand
You shine like diamonds scattered in the sand
Swirling sunlight casting your spotlight
Catch the fire that levelled my heart
From one little spark it was over
All I can ask for is for you to come over and sit in the sand
Spend time making memories as kisses taste like honey
I say something funny but forget to laugh
Cause I can’t help but smile because all the while
I'm wooing your heart
Your still sitting in the sand with me
I can’t wipe away the cold sweat that holds me when you smile
Every time I think of you, smiles steal the frown from my face, and my heart tries to leap out of my chest to get back on your trail.
Frequent flyer miles fill my head with all the time I'm flying to your side
These moments are fleeting running out as fast as my hearts beating
But when we sit down the sand in your hair and the ocean on the piano keys
Musical sea breeze fills the air
I know that you’re leaving and we could be over but let’s take this moment and set it free
Because when I take your hand, and you take my heart, even though you don’t know it I never want to part.
I said goodbye one too many times, and now I'm locked in climbing vines
Pulling me higher away, till I cling to the stratosphere gasping from the lack of air way up high
But the pain in my temple can hardly resemble the tear in my heart
From this earth pulling me apart from you
But for all of my strength I still crush our love and you hide again
From the heart that beats everyday for you
Well I'm just a soldier a boy getting older
You’re just a girl in a parade whose beauty can’t fade
While I sit on the sidelines gun in my hand
You shine like diamonds scattered in the sand
Swirling sunlight casting your spotlight
Catch the fire that levelled my heart
From one little spark it was over
All I can ask for is for you to come over and sit in the sand
Spend time making memories as kisses taste like honey
I say something funny but forget to laugh
Cause I can’t help but smile because all the while
I'm wooing your heart
Your still sitting in the sand with me
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Love
It is not out of some misplaced sense of obligation that we must act, but instead in all things Love. Dont hate death, but love the sacred gift of life. In love not spite nor reaction we must act, let grace and compassion fuel our hearts to beat in time with the movement of our feet- TMH WORLDWIDE
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Those days
Do you ever have those days, where all the bad things, or at least a lot of them, the bad things/memories come back to you, not necessarily the hurt or that but the memory comes back, many at once.
The bad things youve done, the bad person youve been.
Depressing days where you look back and just, cringe at the things that have happened
You look at your reflection in your mind and you know thats not you.
But it was, and always will be a part of you.
See i look back at the people ive hurt, the pain ive caused and it burns
Because i know im not him...
Regret i think isnt necessarily a negative thing, i think many people try not to regret anything they have ever done, claim to be proud of every moment of their lives.
But there are things i regret things that have happened and things that havent.
Opportunities wasted, missed.
I dont really know the point of blogging this. but i did anyway
The bad things youve done, the bad person youve been.
Depressing days where you look back and just, cringe at the things that have happened
You look at your reflection in your mind and you know thats not you.
But it was, and always will be a part of you.
See i look back at the people ive hurt, the pain ive caused and it burns
Because i know im not him...
Regret i think isnt necessarily a negative thing, i think many people try not to regret anything they have ever done, claim to be proud of every moment of their lives.
But there are things i regret things that have happened and things that havent.
Opportunities wasted, missed.
I dont really know the point of blogging this. but i did anyway
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Sparks
Sparks are a funny thing... see sparks never really go out.
They arent like fires, which you must feed, they are the start of the fire.
Now the fires gone out, yes almost certainly.
But the spark
The Glint is still there... and it hurts.
I keep it submerged.
But it arises, and flickers
It burns
Stings
An itch deep deep within
I just need an hour, think with me.
One hour, but i know its not enough.
One becomes two, then two becomes one night
Then a week, month
Then I sleep at square one.
But the spark
So beautiful when it lights
For that brief but albeit... spectacular moment
Its alive.
I crave that again.
But i dont carry the torch...
They arent like fires, which you must feed, they are the start of the fire.
Now the fires gone out, yes almost certainly.
But the spark
The Glint is still there... and it hurts.
I keep it submerged.
But it arises, and flickers
It burns
Stings
An itch deep deep within
I just need an hour, think with me.
One hour, but i know its not enough.
One becomes two, then two becomes one night
Then a week, month
Then I sleep at square one.
But the spark
So beautiful when it lights
For that brief but albeit... spectacular moment
Its alive.
I crave that again.
But i dont carry the torch...
Sunday, October 11, 2009
The Blues
Oh man do i love the blues.
The entire concept of it is great, sadness fueling sound.
Just love it.
John Mayer + the John Mayer trio, B.B king, Ray Charles.
They are great.
Blues can be so smooth, but so gritty, its fluid and emotive
Maybe thats why i like it so much.
A bent string sings words i dont know yet.
The bass just resonates deep inside, then the tones on the guitar whisper a kiss in your ears.
as the brushes stroke the drums... oh its heavenly torment.
Sweet disaster.
I love the blues
The entire concept of it is great, sadness fueling sound.
Just love it.
John Mayer + the John Mayer trio, B.B king, Ray Charles.
They are great.
Blues can be so smooth, but so gritty, its fluid and emotive
Maybe thats why i like it so much.
A bent string sings words i dont know yet.
The bass just resonates deep inside, then the tones on the guitar whisper a kiss in your ears.
as the brushes stroke the drums... oh its heavenly torment.
Sweet disaster.
I love the blues
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Good night
Tonight at church there was a message that really spoke to me, thats not what this is about.
After church, i just talked to some people old friends, that shouldnt be called 'old friends.
It was great, not everyone was perfect, but everyone was real.
Loved it.
Want it to continue
Ive been really lonely this year, and hav always wanted this sense of community, craved it as we all do.
Now that ive just put one foot in front of the other.
Im gna keep doing it.
And grow it.
After church, i just talked to some people old friends, that shouldnt be called 'old friends.
It was great, not everyone was perfect, but everyone was real.
Loved it.
Want it to continue
Ive been really lonely this year, and hav always wanted this sense of community, craved it as we all do.
Now that ive just put one foot in front of the other.
Im gna keep doing it.
And grow it.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Her Smile
It is a rare thing
To cause a smile, to spark the fire
Of joy
To delight in the sight of another
Tis truly a rare thing
The setting of the sun, paints the world in amber blaze
Yet the smile of a girl
Sets the heart ablaze
In the sight of a smile
The world holds its breath
When there is a true joy
An untouchable joy
Then men see
Then men hear
Then men know
In the moment between the breath
The world breathes again
The smile fades
To cross anothers face
On a starry lit night
Whilst fireflies dance
And stars romance
A smile
For a boy
From a girl
To cause a smile, to spark the fire
Of joy
To delight in the sight of another
Tis truly a rare thing
The setting of the sun, paints the world in amber blaze
Yet the smile of a girl
Sets the heart ablaze
In the sight of a smile
The world holds its breath
When there is a true joy
An untouchable joy
Then men see
Then men hear
Then men know
In the moment between the breath
The world breathes again
The smile fades
To cross anothers face
On a starry lit night
Whilst fireflies dance
And stars romance
A smile
For a boy
From a girl
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Weep
I weep
For the man who works nights, and cant see his kids during the day just to make ends meet
I weep
For the man who works hard everyday, for a future the world wont give him
I weep
For the souls of parihaka
I weep
For the mockery we make of our people
I weep
For the pain
I weep
Because of the pain
I weep
For my Whakapapa
I weep
For my Hapu
I weep
For my tupuna
I weep
For the women, who love those, who strike them
I weep
tears of blood
As my iwi slips from me
As my hapu leaves me
As Maori Die
Once
....Were
........Warriors
Once again
It hurts me, to see where my culture is... the tears
Will steel me
Will harden my resolve
Kia Kaha
Will be etched on my soul
As my tamariki
My Moko
Will KNOW
They are of a people, of Mana, of Kaha, of Heritage
But to know that
To see that
I must first
Revive it
For the man who works nights, and cant see his kids during the day just to make ends meet
I weep
For the man who works hard everyday, for a future the world wont give him
I weep
For the souls of parihaka
I weep
For the mockery we make of our people
I weep
For the pain
I weep
Because of the pain
I weep
For my Whakapapa
I weep
For my Hapu
I weep
For my tupuna
I weep
For the women, who love those, who strike them
I weep
tears of blood
As my iwi slips from me
As my hapu leaves me
As Maori Die
Once
....Were
........Warriors
Once again
It hurts me, to see where my culture is... the tears
Will steel me
Will harden my resolve
Kia Kaha
Will be etched on my soul
As my tamariki
My Moko
Will KNOW
They are of a people, of Mana, of Kaha, of Heritage
But to know that
To see that
I must first
Revive it
Friday, July 24, 2009
Church
Church, a group of people coming together to meet
At the core of its description, this is what Church should be, a meeting of people.
People, not programs, not songs, not speakers
People
Of every denomination.
Community, people
These are the things Jesus did, walked to and with
It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him
Genesis, it is not good that the man should be alone.
We are meant to be in relationship with people, all people, rich, poor, black, white.
The walk of Christ... its a journey we need to take
The Church is doing it wrong... but instead of complaining, how do we turn it around, how?
the eternal question... in light of this, what do I do?
Im trying to make a start
At the core of its description, this is what Church should be, a meeting of people.
People, not programs, not songs, not speakers
People
Of every denomination.
Community, people
These are the things Jesus did, walked to and with
It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him
Genesis, it is not good that the man should be alone.
We are meant to be in relationship with people, all people, rich, poor, black, white.
The walk of Christ... its a journey we need to take
The Church is doing it wrong... but instead of complaining, how do we turn it around, how?
the eternal question... in light of this, what do I do?
Im trying to make a start
Monday, June 29, 2009
God Rest Their Souls
May 11, 1981 Bob Marley Died
September, 28, 1991 Miles Davis Died
November,24 1991 Freddie Mercury Died
June 10, 2004 Ray Charles Died
December, 25, 2006 James Brown Died
June 25, 2009 Michael Jackson Died
These are but some of the names to have left this world in relatively recent times.
The people mentioned above are some of the most talented musicians, performers, and artists of our time.
There are many more names that deserve to sit amongst such talented human beings, many of which have died.
This loss of extraordinary talent leaves such a vacuum in this world, and there are too few to fill it.
Artists like Billy Joel, Eric Clapton, Stevie Wonder, Elton John, Tina Turner still remain, but these people are of a generation past.
In my generation, i dont see the same talent, and im worried for the future.
Todays celebrities are exactly that, celebrities, seekers of fame not seekers of excellence, the talent of the past sought that excellene, had those high standards, and left audiences screaming for more.
John Lenon, one of the most loved and respected men on the planet.
But where are they in my generation.
In a generation of self gratification to the extreme, where fame is its own talent, where do we look for the hope.
Miley Cyrus, Souljah Boy, Taylor Swift, The Jonas Brothers?
The future looks grim for the culture of this world.
There are signs of hope, John Mayer, Amos Lee, Eminem, Justin Timberlake.
But too few to warrant security, i fear we have lost what true hope was left in the world, or are loosing it to fast to replace.
The world ahead may be a dark one, if someones voice doesnt light the way.
September, 28, 1991 Miles Davis Died
November,24 1991 Freddie Mercury Died
June 10, 2004 Ray Charles Died
December, 25, 2006 James Brown Died
June 25, 2009 Michael Jackson Died
These are but some of the names to have left this world in relatively recent times.
The people mentioned above are some of the most talented musicians, performers, and artists of our time.
There are many more names that deserve to sit amongst such talented human beings, many of which have died.
This loss of extraordinary talent leaves such a vacuum in this world, and there are too few to fill it.
Artists like Billy Joel, Eric Clapton, Stevie Wonder, Elton John, Tina Turner still remain, but these people are of a generation past.
In my generation, i dont see the same talent, and im worried for the future.
Todays celebrities are exactly that, celebrities, seekers of fame not seekers of excellence, the talent of the past sought that excellene, had those high standards, and left audiences screaming for more.
John Lenon, one of the most loved and respected men on the planet.
But where are they in my generation.
In a generation of self gratification to the extreme, where fame is its own talent, where do we look for the hope.
Miley Cyrus, Souljah Boy, Taylor Swift, The Jonas Brothers?
The future looks grim for the culture of this world.
There are signs of hope, John Mayer, Amos Lee, Eminem, Justin Timberlake.
But too few to warrant security, i fear we have lost what true hope was left in the world, or are loosing it to fast to replace.
The world ahead may be a dark one, if someones voice doesnt light the way.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Bible College
I attended a young adults group at my church last tuesday just gone.
I decided to give it one more go, as i had decided to not attend it because it was a tad to social for my liking.
A leader of ours, was speaking about God and how his Grace extends not only to us in the form of eternal life.
But also in the form of predicaments... situational Grace.
God who changes circumstances.
Now i attend bible college in Nz, and as such have acquired a small amount of theological knowledge, and immediately had several "buts..." to this issue, to quote a lecturer of mine "What God does sometimes he doesnt do all the time"
That God althoug he could change circumstances, due to him being both 100% just and 100% merciful must abide by the law. E.g the cross, the law is that the price for sin is death, the mercy and justice is that although the price was paid, it was paid by Jesus.
and my explination for why God didnt drastically change circumstances was that He must abide by his law, Freewill.
I shared this to little reaction and little understanding i believe.
Then the other explinations of the room were as follows.
God lets us have these experiences to test us
" " to strengthen us
Gods Grace wouldnt matter if we were perfect, these times serve to make Grace needed.
I couldnt believe their responses, they werent correct... theologically they were wrong.
My understanding of God...but then i stopped...right there.
MY understanding..... ME
I looked around and thought to myself... sure, i may be correct, theologically, but theology doesnt account for the mystery of God.. it doesnt account for his command of the cosmos.. of the creation of light.... of the breathing of stars.
What i had witnissed was (as i like to call it) small town faith... Faith born of a human understanding of God.
not a scholarly...mathmatical, structured, predictable understanding.
But an understanding of A+B=God
Thats the danger of learning about God.
You learn ABOUT him... Not from Him
I decided to give it one more go, as i had decided to not attend it because it was a tad to social for my liking.
A leader of ours, was speaking about God and how his Grace extends not only to us in the form of eternal life.
But also in the form of predicaments... situational Grace.
God who changes circumstances.
Now i attend bible college in Nz, and as such have acquired a small amount of theological knowledge, and immediately had several "buts..." to this issue, to quote a lecturer of mine "What God does sometimes he doesnt do all the time"
That God althoug he could change circumstances, due to him being both 100% just and 100% merciful must abide by the law. E.g the cross, the law is that the price for sin is death, the mercy and justice is that although the price was paid, it was paid by Jesus.
and my explination for why God didnt drastically change circumstances was that He must abide by his law, Freewill.
I shared this to little reaction and little understanding i believe.
Then the other explinations of the room were as follows.
God lets us have these experiences to test us
" " to strengthen us
Gods Grace wouldnt matter if we were perfect, these times serve to make Grace needed.
I couldnt believe their responses, they werent correct... theologically they were wrong.
My understanding of God...but then i stopped...right there.
MY understanding..... ME
I looked around and thought to myself... sure, i may be correct, theologically, but theology doesnt account for the mystery of God.. it doesnt account for his command of the cosmos.. of the creation of light.... of the breathing of stars.
What i had witnissed was (as i like to call it) small town faith... Faith born of a human understanding of God.
not a scholarly...mathmatical, structured, predictable understanding.
But an understanding of A+B=God
Thats the danger of learning about God.
You learn ABOUT him... Not from Him
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Ooooo
I know her face
...But not her taste
I know her sound
...Yet not where she is found
I know my heart
...Yet not her mind
Her beauty lifts my eyes, as the moonlight pulls the sun from its slumber
As the stars fade, the light still remains
The dawn brings with it a new promise
Of the same beauty that i know
That is distant, yet every near.
I see her, and i smile, i talk to her and i smile
My heart beats... does she know
Can she know...
I want her to know, the rush
Whether we are kindred, or i am of my own
The fear, the thrill
...But not her taste
I know her sound
...Yet not where she is found
I know my heart
...Yet not her mind
Her beauty lifts my eyes, as the moonlight pulls the sun from its slumber
As the stars fade, the light still remains
The dawn brings with it a new promise
Of the same beauty that i know
That is distant, yet every near.
I see her, and i smile, i talk to her and i smile
My heart beats... does she know
Can she know...
I want her to know, the rush
Whether we are kindred, or i am of my own
The fear, the thrill
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Tonights Prayer
Doesn't it hurt so much when you hear that people you know have been talking about you behind your back.
Doesn't it just cut really deep
Get past all the wondering about whether what they are saying is true.
Regardless it hurts.
I dont like it.
It made me second guess myself, and now im not sure if i do the things i do because theyr the right thing to do
Or if im self serving.
Lord i need you right now, i need to know your here, and i need to hear you
Please Lord come find me, please Lord Find me.
Doesn't it just cut really deep
Get past all the wondering about whether what they are saying is true.
Regardless it hurts.
I dont like it.
It made me second guess myself, and now im not sure if i do the things i do because theyr the right thing to do
Or if im self serving.
Lord i need you right now, i need to know your here, and i need to hear you
Please Lord come find me, please Lord Find me.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
I Love You
Moments it seems, do last forever
Do you remember it?
That first kiss...that moment in which so much happened
Her eyes caught you... as you fell into her
Do you remember the moment, before the moment...where her eyes dropped to your lips
making them twitch.
Her eyes close
Closer, your heart doing things... you dont understand
Beating so fast, that it doesnt beat at all, and why would it
When its reason
Is in front of it
Years later, you meet... just meet
Its...
So...
Right...
The Touch, the slightest run across your lips
The Love of your life telling you
In a kiss'
As your hands meet with hers, and the symphony plays
A rendition of Your Heart
This moment, hold this please hold onto this
As soon as its begun
Its over...
But everything else has just begun...
Once was not enough
So you hold her, tighter than you really know, and it seems that she as well
Doesnt want to Let Go
Please everyone take the time to remember these moments, if you dont, they never really happened.
This kiss, it only lasted for a moment, but in that moment in this piece of history she was my world and i was hers, it doesnt matter who i am, or who she is
What matters is what was
And because it was it will always be.
In one moment i fell into utter love for another, and that is worth remembering
Do you remember it?
That first kiss...that moment in which so much happened
Her eyes caught you... as you fell into her
Do you remember the moment, before the moment...where her eyes dropped to your lips
making them twitch.
Her eyes close
Closer, your heart doing things... you dont understand
Beating so fast, that it doesnt beat at all, and why would it
When its reason
Is in front of it
Years later, you meet... just meet
Its...
So...
Right...
The Touch, the slightest run across your lips
The Love of your life telling you
In a kiss'
As your hands meet with hers, and the symphony plays
A rendition of Your Heart
This moment, hold this please hold onto this
As soon as its begun
Its over...
But everything else has just begun...
Once was not enough
So you hold her, tighter than you really know, and it seems that she as well
Doesnt want to Let Go
Please everyone take the time to remember these moments, if you dont, they never really happened.
This kiss, it only lasted for a moment, but in that moment in this piece of history she was my world and i was hers, it doesnt matter who i am, or who she is
What matters is what was
And because it was it will always be.
In one moment i fell into utter love for another, and that is worth remembering
Monday, April 13, 2009
The Idea Of Constant Reality
I love reality, being completley real with someone, not sugar coating things.
but is it whats needed at all times.
Thats a tough question to answer i think.
I mean, to many people especially in churches (and im probably not excluded from this) sugar coat things, dont deal with the issue
Let Go and Let God
I dont doubt God's power to radically change circumstances in a heartbeat, but i do doubt that he does that all the time.
I have friends with alcohol problems, drug addictions, i have problems with sexual immorality, lust all that jazz.
I hate that we just pray through it, that a lot of people arent pro active ESPECIALLY IN CHURCH
Oh its ok mate, lets pray for you, God loves you no matter what.
That sentence doesnt solve problems, not that we should view people as projects but to truly love someone means to endevour to get the best for them.
and for that we need reality
Hey bro, i think you have an addiction to alcohol bro, im not judging you for it, i wont think less of you for it mate, but you need help and in my opinion its fact mate, you are addicted.
Why is that a hard sentence to say.
Please tell me
but is it whats needed at all times.
Thats a tough question to answer i think.
I mean, to many people especially in churches (and im probably not excluded from this) sugar coat things, dont deal with the issue
Let Go and Let God
I dont doubt God's power to radically change circumstances in a heartbeat, but i do doubt that he does that all the time.
I have friends with alcohol problems, drug addictions, i have problems with sexual immorality, lust all that jazz.
I hate that we just pray through it, that a lot of people arent pro active ESPECIALLY IN CHURCH
Oh its ok mate, lets pray for you, God loves you no matter what.
That sentence doesnt solve problems, not that we should view people as projects but to truly love someone means to endevour to get the best for them.
and for that we need reality
Hey bro, i think you have an addiction to alcohol bro, im not judging you for it, i wont think less of you for it mate, but you need help and in my opinion its fact mate, you are addicted.
Why is that a hard sentence to say.
Please tell me
Monday, March 23, 2009
For Clare
I gaze upon the sundrenched Girl
Bathed in all the Glory Of the World
But a shimmer here and a shimmer there
Cannot stem her Flowing tears
a smile outside
while a fire burns
Beauty eternal
Her heart Doth yearn
For a sweeter taste upon her lips
For another to lock with her finger tips
To hold her close without a touch
To rid her of winters Icy Cluth
There will be a day i pray it soon
in the setting of the noon
when rain shall fall upon her smile
And the sun will shine for a while
and on this day upon that hill
it will be her heart that he shall fill
Bathed in all the Glory Of the World
But a shimmer here and a shimmer there
Cannot stem her Flowing tears
a smile outside
while a fire burns
Beauty eternal
Her heart Doth yearn
For a sweeter taste upon her lips
For another to lock with her finger tips
To hold her close without a touch
To rid her of winters Icy Cluth
There will be a day i pray it soon
in the setting of the noon
when rain shall fall upon her smile
And the sun will shine for a while
and on this day upon that hill
it will be her heart that he shall fill
Thursday, March 12, 2009
To Fly
I jumped
So high
I saw it once and had to fly
Fly to Reach
Reach to Hold
and Hold to love
I leapt so high, clouds and the world dropped away
a flight so high
impossible to land
each time I come closer
and closer
but further away
But I love
To Fly
So high
I saw it once and had to fly
Fly to Reach
Reach to Hold
and Hold to love
I leapt so high, clouds and the world dropped away
a flight so high
impossible to land
each time I come closer
and closer
but further away
But I love
To Fly
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Finished
I thought I used to know
About the script behind the show
But the magazines lie
They pull angels from the sky
When beauty is made on a computer screen
Instead of what’s in front of me
And you ask me why
Why the stars refuse to shine
When we idolise what’s pleasing to the eyes
We take our gaze away
We wander far astray
And were lost in the wilderness
Clinging to any kind
Any kind of love we find
And you ask me why
The stars refuse to shine
Locked behind prison bars
Built by fallen stars
Shading your starlight
And social expectations
Increasing complications
On this heavenly earth
We stare away from the hurt
And you ask me why
The stars refuse to shine
And ill tell you why
Its because of you and I
About the script behind the show
But the magazines lie
They pull angels from the sky
When beauty is made on a computer screen
Instead of what’s in front of me
And you ask me why
Why the stars refuse to shine
When we idolise what’s pleasing to the eyes
We take our gaze away
We wander far astray
And were lost in the wilderness
Clinging to any kind
Any kind of love we find
And you ask me why
The stars refuse to shine
Locked behind prison bars
Built by fallen stars
Shading your starlight
And social expectations
Increasing complications
On this heavenly earth
We stare away from the hurt
And you ask me why
The stars refuse to shine
And ill tell you why
Its because of you and I
Sunday, February 22, 2009
My Family
Ive been away, since the Thursday just gone.
Went up north with the family... my brother is home from England with his girl.
My Brother Scott came up from Wellington with his girlfriend.
My sister Tessa and her family came Damian, Oliver (9) Lachlan (5) and Charlotte (3)
My Brother Nick came too.
My Mum Linda
My Dad Steven
I have a big family... i was an uncle at 8 years old.
I have been to countless family gatherings, tangi, funerals, weddings, parties, Christmas's you name it Ive done it.
But..... only today... only now
Do i understand how blessed i am by them.
Blessed by my family
I realised how much i love them today
My Dad fought his way out of a home... an abusive home which would have had him on the same destructive path as so many of my culture are.
He promised himself he would never be like his father... never, ever
He promised my mother he would never be like his father.
My father left home at 15, was married by 18 and still is
My father... deserves nothing but the utmost respect
My father is strong, quiet, brilliant, loving and wonderful
My father is who i want to become, he may not have a university qualifications
My father is the smartest man I will ever meet.
My Mother is the strongest woman i know
My mother loves to garden
My mother cared so much about her kids that before they were born she decided, they wouldn't be raised as she was.
My mother did what by rights all of us kids should have been doing.
She cleaned everyone elses mess before she had the chance to make her own
My mother was married at 18 and still is
My sister is the oldest of 5 children
My sister helped raised me and still does
My sister will never ever stop defending me
My sister loves all her family
All her family
My Brothers
Are
My Brothers
They aren't perfect
They are Strong
They aren't always fun
They always care
They will never, ever let anything happen to those we care about
Ever
I
I am blessed to be a part of this family
I am so blessed to have their love
I am not the son i want to be for them
I am not the brother i want to be for them
I am not the uncle i want to be for them
I am not who i want to Be
But i will be
For my Brothers
My Sister
My Nephews
My Niece
My Mother
My Father
I promise myself, like my father did, like my mother did
I will be better
Went up north with the family... my brother is home from England with his girl.
My Brother Scott came up from Wellington with his girlfriend.
My sister Tessa and her family came Damian, Oliver (9) Lachlan (5) and Charlotte (3)
My Brother Nick came too.
My Mum Linda
My Dad Steven
I have a big family... i was an uncle at 8 years old.
I have been to countless family gatherings, tangi, funerals, weddings, parties, Christmas's you name it Ive done it.
But..... only today... only now
Do i understand how blessed i am by them.
Blessed by my family
I realised how much i love them today
My Dad fought his way out of a home... an abusive home which would have had him on the same destructive path as so many of my culture are.
He promised himself he would never be like his father... never, ever
He promised my mother he would never be like his father.
My father left home at 15, was married by 18 and still is
My father... deserves nothing but the utmost respect
My father is strong, quiet, brilliant, loving and wonderful
My father is who i want to become, he may not have a university qualifications
My father is the smartest man I will ever meet.
My Mother is the strongest woman i know
My mother loves to garden
My mother cared so much about her kids that before they were born she decided, they wouldn't be raised as she was.
My mother did what by rights all of us kids should have been doing.
She cleaned everyone elses mess before she had the chance to make her own
My mother was married at 18 and still is
My sister is the oldest of 5 children
My sister helped raised me and still does
My sister will never ever stop defending me
My sister loves all her family
All her family
My Brothers
Are
My Brothers
They aren't perfect
They are Strong
They aren't always fun
They always care
They will never, ever let anything happen to those we care about
Ever
I
I am blessed to be a part of this family
I am so blessed to have their love
I am not the son i want to be for them
I am not the brother i want to be for them
I am not the uncle i want to be for them
I am not who i want to Be
But i will be
For my Brothers
My Sister
My Nephews
My Niece
My Mother
My Father
I promise myself, like my father did, like my mother did
I will be better
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Work In Progress
I thought I used to know
About the script behind the show
But the magazines lie
They pull angels down to die
When beauty is made on a computer screen
Instead of what’s in front of me
And you ask me why
Why the stars refuse to shine
We glorify decadence in place of divinity
About the script behind the show
But the magazines lie
They pull angels down to die
When beauty is made on a computer screen
Instead of what’s in front of me
And you ask me why
Why the stars refuse to shine
We glorify decadence in place of divinity
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Slow Down
I was younger once
The world was bigger... or there was more in it.
Now I feel... perhaps i know more than i should
The younger we are... the older we have to grow
When I was younger (maybe not in age but in mind)
I used to love a girl
I used to love the idea of a girl
I saw this pedestal... and on top was the most beautiful, wholesome, sexy, wonderful, amazing, stunning woman.
I reached.
I think i reached it
But maybe i missed... and as I miss
I.. maybe i chipped away a bit of the pedestal
Maybe... grabbing at it... I might have scraped off too much
I dont know.
But after a few goes... the pedestal dosen't look the same.
It's kinda.... its shorter now...
I can reach it without even using my tip toes...
Suddenly... its not the same
i mean... its so easy now
and its so dirty.... grubby finger marks.... maybe
maybe
i should have...
....
waited ?
The world was bigger... or there was more in it.
Now I feel... perhaps i know more than i should
The younger we are... the older we have to grow
When I was younger (maybe not in age but in mind)
I used to love a girl
I used to love the idea of a girl
I saw this pedestal... and on top was the most beautiful, wholesome, sexy, wonderful, amazing, stunning woman.
I reached.
I think i reached it
But maybe i missed... and as I miss
I.. maybe i chipped away a bit of the pedestal
Maybe... grabbing at it... I might have scraped off too much
I dont know.
But after a few goes... the pedestal dosen't look the same.
It's kinda.... its shorter now...
I can reach it without even using my tip toes...
Suddenly... its not the same
i mean... its so easy now
and its so dirty.... grubby finger marks.... maybe
maybe
i should have...
....
waited ?
Friday, January 2, 2009
This Time
What has 2008 been about
Was there a brilliant fulfilled purpose
What was accomplished
Men, like to work to goals, the way our mind operates is we like to be able to measure things, to judge the distance we have come, to see the path that we have defeated
and thus the more you defeat, the better the reward.
So For me looking back, i try to see the goals i have reached
but with my memory being what it is, when i require to remember the moments that matter
i scarcely can, i often start these blogs with fire and end with ash.
This year has been one of Challenge, Struggle, Pain, Despair, Love, Failure, Success,
and Reward, Wonderful Wonderful Reward.
This year was one of Change, and in that i have learnt to rely upon my Lord, and seek him first in all situations a craft i haven't perfected but a battle i fight daily.
I have learnt the blows that really cut, and the ones that are superficial scrapes
and as such am now able to assess a situation and see which category it fits into
which then helps me to deal with them.
I have learnt self pitty accomplishes nothing, when each day should glorify our LORD GOD, why sit and despair when it does nothing to Glorify God
I have learnt the hearts of others are ancient things, and take as much time to heal as to open.
I have learnt my Lord is so much more than i can Grasp, he is a fearsome lord, who i wish to serve.
i lost alot, and have gained more than i can hold.
My personal relationship with God has developed into something more... mature, learning to constantly reference him, in all things praise him
and making that a reality
to follow him in the hard times.
I think like all things this year had a purpose, but the God i serve dosent work to my calendar, and i have seen purposes fulfilled this year, but i believe my God has more in store for me, than yearly success, for his is a power stretching beyond time.
Was there a brilliant fulfilled purpose
What was accomplished
Men, like to work to goals, the way our mind operates is we like to be able to measure things, to judge the distance we have come, to see the path that we have defeated
and thus the more you defeat, the better the reward.
So For me looking back, i try to see the goals i have reached
but with my memory being what it is, when i require to remember the moments that matter
i scarcely can, i often start these blogs with fire and end with ash.
This year has been one of Challenge, Struggle, Pain, Despair, Love, Failure, Success,
and Reward, Wonderful Wonderful Reward.
This year was one of Change, and in that i have learnt to rely upon my Lord, and seek him first in all situations a craft i haven't perfected but a battle i fight daily.
I have learnt the blows that really cut, and the ones that are superficial scrapes
and as such am now able to assess a situation and see which category it fits into
which then helps me to deal with them.
I have learnt self pitty accomplishes nothing, when each day should glorify our LORD GOD, why sit and despair when it does nothing to Glorify God
I have learnt the hearts of others are ancient things, and take as much time to heal as to open.
I have learnt my Lord is so much more than i can Grasp, he is a fearsome lord, who i wish to serve.
i lost alot, and have gained more than i can hold.
My personal relationship with God has developed into something more... mature, learning to constantly reference him, in all things praise him
and making that a reality
to follow him in the hard times.
I think like all things this year had a purpose, but the God i serve dosent work to my calendar, and i have seen purposes fulfilled this year, but i believe my God has more in store for me, than yearly success, for his is a power stretching beyond time.
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