Thursday, July 31, 2008

I don't understand...

I don't understand.
I have been told, from my school that i cannot drop physics and biology, for what reason i do not know.
That i cannot have as much independent learning time as I would if i dropped those classes.
That i must return to those classes, take a gateway course or leave school.

I don't understand, why would a school want a student in a class which he himself does not enjoy, has no passion for, a class where the teachers understand and respect his opinion on that, where he if he is put back in that class will make no attempt to further his knowledge in these courses.

Also i know what i want to do, so where is the point in taking those classes which do not work towards that goal... I don't understand the purpose

If im wrong or am missing something please tell me but if im not then why does no one else understand my point of view

Friday, July 25, 2008

My Love

Its nothing words can describe
I cant even describe the pain of the struggle to find the words
She is...
There are no words
Its such a struggle
But one i welcome
I would rather toil, struggle, be battered and broken
Then exist without her
Because in that toil and struggle
I am whole
I know what i am
I know why i am

If ever there is a shining example of gods grace it is her...
I don't know what i ever did to have her smile upon me
For whatever reason she does.
I love because of her

Thursday, July 24, 2008

My Essay

My Essay

Normally my essay would follow strict guidelines as approved by intelligent people that know what they are talking about when it comes to English and essays and such.
I do not doubt their ability as educators or as moderators, I understand the length of time spent struggling to attain the qualifications that they so rightly deserve, however I do doubt their ability to understand me.

I understand the value of higher learning, continuing study at a tertiary level, it serves the world as a whole well, and there is so much value in the continuation of learning, which is of course the entire purpose for tertiary study or study at all.
I understand the parents and teachers genuine want for students to excel, to shine their ability out to the world and they believe tertiary study in a university or a tech establishment is invaluable, for a certain kind of learner.

However I am not that learner, certain aspects of school life just don’t support the way I learn, and people may view this as a cop out, a low self confidence in my ability.
But it’s just the opposite, I have supreme confidence in my ability to learn, to grow, and many other skills.
The point of this essay isn’t to build myself up and advertise my ability; the point of this essay is to say.
I will not be following the path that mainstream education wishes of me.

I see its value, and I understand people need the structure and uniform methods of learning that it offers, I understand that school is too much of a vast place to tailor their courses to suit one self confessed free spirit.
I understand every teachers yearning for me to reach the potential I show to have.

Think about this statement “To realise ones destiny is a person’s only obligation” this statement is how I would like to live and have wanted to. (Courtesy of Ms White)
Now it sounds very “free spirited”, impulsive, and irresponsible but its not.
This line was taken from a book all about following dreams, bear with me
In this story a simple shepherd boy has a recurring dream which he doesn’t understand.
He seeks out a woman who can interpret dreams which tells him to seek the pyramids of Egypt for a treasure.
Throughout his journey he stalls and is stopped and finds many things in the world he did not know.
He finds that always will the life of a shepherd be there, always will his old life remain, but never again do the chances of a new life, a special, destined life come along.
It speaks of taking chances, all the opportunities afforded to you.

Which is what I’m trying to do, I’m trying to seek out that which I believe to be my, I don’t want to say destiny because of the connotations with that word.
But I am seeking my path, my chosen way in life.
School unfortunately, or the way in which it is structured and the inability to tailor itself to a specific student is the reason why I am writing this.
This is not the place in which I will achieve what I believe my goals to be.

To that I would expect the response of “You should take the opportunities school affords you” which is valid, but not for me.
It may be hard to understand and seem wrong but I know where my path lies.
I will be applying to the intermission course at Carey Baptist College.
This is a year where we come out of it with a more developed spirituality and a NZQA Certificate in Applied Theology.

Which although might not sound like a solid foundation it is my passion.
As impulsive and bull headed as I may be, this is my passion, one of my favourite teachers said to me “Trent, What motivates you?”
This is it, my love for my faith is what drives me to be better, its my inspiration regardless of your personal beliefs I know you are all people who can understand and appreciate the fact that when someone is passionate about something, their learning cannot help but benefit from that passion.

I want to change the world, when you grow up and gain wisdom you loose stupidity, you loose the unadulterated ability to do anything you wish.
When you go to university and there are exceptions to every rule but, you loose that ability, you are restricted by age, and I want to go into that age believing still I'm unrestricted even if its not true.
Eleanor Roosevelt said this,
“Education today is not purely a question of the education of youth; it is a question of the education of parents, because so many parents, I find, have lost their hold on their children. One reason for this is that they insist on laying down the law without allowing a free intellectual interchange of ideas between themselves and the younger generation. I believe that as we grow older we gain some wisdom, but I do not believe that we can take it for granted that our wisdom will be accepted by the younger generation. We have to be prepared to put our thinking across to them. We cannot simply expect them to say, "Our older people have had experience and they have proved to themselves certain things, therefore they are right." That isn't the way the best kind of young people think. They want to experience for themselves.”

To be completely honest with all of you, I don’t know if I should complete this year, in my heart of hearts I would love to leave school, and earn money for my certificate next year.
Whether I can is a story for another essay.

I can promise you this, you will all hear of me in later years, I hope, as a world changer.
My ambition… to change the world on a scale as unbelievable as people to be awe struck, accepting the fact that it simply couldn’t have come from me.
But from where else…

Trent

Time

Time is constant
It is always
So
Time never runs out, we run out
We cant find time
So we dont have time
Not the other way around

Your life has to be based around a time structure
Which is structured so you can accomplish your goals

Ah Goals
They are the reason we never have time
Because the time of our lives, is based upon something we dont have.
Or our structure isnt sufficent to accomplish the goals we want, rather it is set to accomplish the goals of another.
Accomplish your goals

Dont live by the worlds standards, live by standards you determine to reach your goal.
If at anytime you need to be somewhere you arent, go there
It is more complicated than that
Granted

But its also far simpler
I trust in something beyond myself, in God
His timing is perfect
He is perfect

Maybe school isnt set to the same, but school isnt life
Life is a school
you learn, you fail, you succeed
But you always leave at that bell at the end of the day.
What will you learn, where will you go during the time you have.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

This week

So ive decided to not post what i hope to be a world changing blog but just a blog of life.
The first day of the rest of my life...

The day after Xtend, i have no doubt in my mind my life has changed, not beyond recognition but significantly.
The high you get from Xtend has not yet worn off and i hope it never does, i want to simply keep raising the bar, again and again.
My christianity has taken a step in the right direction and now i feel refreshed in my Faith.
It all became about practical faith in the past few days, the nitty gritty, reading my bible and praying and worshiping god.
The stuff that he deserves and what will benefit us (although thats not the purpose) in the long run.
My biggest challenge recently has been trusting the entirety of my life into Gods hands.
Its easier said than done, because in our hearts we believe something so strongly the idea that it may not be what is intended for us, is inconcievable, just unimaginable
but those words inconcievable, and unimaginable... they describe God.

Thats what he is so there is no better entity to trust your frightening ideas in your life.
Its a rocky road the one we walk, but and the end you are far better conditioned than walking and easy path.

There have been some interesting things ive found when reading the bible this week (i read three chapters a day monday through saturday and five on sunday)
1 John 4: 7 - 21
This passage speaks of god being love "Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love"
It speaks of loving one another as Jesus loved us because if we love one another Jesus lives in us.
I combined this with 1 corinthians 13 it says " Love is not slef serving... (love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always persevers" God is all those things.

So God wants us to love, he wants that in our lives, but as he has described it.

More to come, to much to blog during an english lesson

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Xtend

Xtend the christian camp to change the world.
There is to much to god to blog about his glory and grace already the muscles in my fingers begin to pulse as i type about the sheer scale of wonder and amazement at xtend and the presence of god.
There is to much that went on to comprehend, he is so vast and on such a massive scale none among us can remember the entirety.
He is so vast all i can do is praise that
He challenged me and convicted me and i love him for it.
I will blog more about him later
but i must say thanks to him for all he has done in my life

Remind myself to blog about earth standards, of time and morales and of ummmmm something else i cant think of.
His sheer love for us thats the one

Trent

Friday, July 11, 2008

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Humanity = Weakness

Humanity is weakness...
Its a struggle to live.
I have a burning decision choking my spirituality i think... choking something... im not whole with it the way it is i think.
What if i am and i loose it only to realise that it was the thing that completed me.
Fear holds me

For all my strength drawn from god... humanity is the best weapon the devil possesses.
I wish i had the fable crystal ball
I wish i could see the two outcomes... but i cant.
I yearn for it though

The holy grail of my condition

Inspiration

My most inspirational quote ever... it challenges us to change the world based on what we ourselves know to be certain about ourselves

Friday, July 4, 2008

Ahhh wasted time

You know what i think is really stupid, when you know you shouldnt be thinking something, or doing something but you cant help but do it.
i dont mean like drinking or smoking or whatever but emotions, you know like... anger, jealousy all those ones mate.
Pointless yet you cant control how you feel.
Mind you...
If you could control it... it wouldnt be 'feeling' would it...
it would become thinking

Still, maybe that could be good. elective emotions but then how long before all emotions that ever turned negative would be erased huh huh huh ? who knows

My point is, i really dont like hating someone and being unable to like them... not for lack of wanting.
I wish i could ignore my gut reaction swallow my pride but i cant atm.

ahh thats what emo songs are for i spose

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Life

Is it ok to be on a different path to the one your love is on?
How long until the two paths differ to greatly...
Neither can ask the other to change paths
But both want it
How long
How long
Until the path isnt the only thing thats changed ?

Youth

Oh if you didnt know im going to keep you updated on my youth iniative throught the entire process

this is some more interesting stuff found on the net, on one persons ideas on how to help the youth.

Problems Of The Youth
Youth has always been regarded to be the nicest period of human lives. It is the period when young people can be carefree without the burden of responsibility which brings the parenthood or daily winning of one’s bread. But youth, seemingly a free time of life, also brings some specific problems:
It is the period of life when people do the most important decisions that can have fatal consequences for their future family and career. This decisions, and also the difficult period of early parenthood or professional career, following abruptly the carefree period of early youth, demands personal maturity.
Immature parenthood can spoil lives of at least three people. It is a serious problem of the young, just like the problem of unemployment or the specific drug problem.
The pressure on the young to get to a university is very high too. It is difficult these times, as the competition is very tough and, unfortunately, not always fair.
Bullying is also a problem of the children at our schools. Thanks to enlightment our bullies do not openly annoy the physically handicapped. But many young people do not know, that there can be a lot of psychical handicaps, and also don’t realize how deep their remarks, jokes or violence can psychically mark the victim.
Another problem of young people, and one of the most typical ones, is the generation gap.
The best way to describe the generation gap is to aim at the parents-children relationship. The elder criticize the way how the young people dress and behave, and they often say, that they have no sense of responsibility today. The young have they own values, which their parents not always like: they are sometimes against their child’s fashion, friends and girl/boyfriends, hobbies, music, idols, lifestyle and other things their child appreciates so much.
Another point of misunderstanding is security. The parents are more afraid of their child as the teenager of himself and don’t allow him to go where he would love to, or until he wants to. They think up various catastrophic scenarios of what could happen to their beloved offspring. Sometimes this problem can be solved by explaining the own fears within the family, but mostly the parents just give orders and prohibitions and the good relationship between them and their child is broken.
It is obviously necessary that there should be more comprehension on both sides.
I think the young should remember that the older have gained greater life experiences and they just try to give these to us, hoping it will help us in our future life.
On the other hand, the older shouldn’t assume that they know best for the simple reason that they have been around a little longer. The parents should also remember how they used to be when they were young. That in their young times, they argued with parents about clothing, hair cut and tattoo too. And they should realize that the development of their child, of all young people, of the world, is natural, just like the child’s need for independence. It is important, that they realize, they can’t rule our life. They have to release us to the real world and hope, that they brought us up well and that we will manage our lives good.

Interesting

Education today is not purely a question of the education of youth; it is a question of the education of parents, because so many parents, I find, have lost their hold on their children. One reason for this is that they insist on laying down the law without allowing a free intellectual interchange of ideas between themselves and the younger generation. I believe that as we grow older we gain some wisdom, but I do not believe that we can take it for granted that our wisdom will be accepted by the younger generation. We have to be prepared to put our thinking across to them. We cannot simply expect them to say, "Our older people have had experience and they have proved to themselves certain things, therefore they are right." That isn't the way the best kind of young people think. They want to experience for themselves. I find they are perfectly willing to talk to older people, but they don't want to talk to older people who are shocked by their ideas, nor do they want to talk to older people who are not realistic.


We might just as well accept things which are facts as facts and not try to imagine that the world is different, more like what we idealized in the past. I have a letter just the other day from a mother who told me that she had brought up several daughters, and that they never did certain things which are very common today among young people. She was sure that if we never countenanced or spoke of certain things in our homes our children would never do those things. Well, it just so happens that I have a number of boys and they happen to know the mother's girls. I have, therefore, seen a good deal of them, and they did every single thing that their mother told me they never did. I think it would have been far better if she had established a type of genuine relationship with her children which would have allowed them to be honest with her. Then she would have had an opportunity to put across her own ideas with some kind of hope that they would at least be considered

these are not my own ideas but are taken from the website http://newdeal.feri.org/er/er21.htm which are brilliant ideas, something i can really use in my inquiry process.

these ideas are elanor roosevelts... from 1935 but yet still apply to today which tells me little progress on the whole has been made... this needs to change so it will change

Youth issues

Just as i type this i have been challenged by perhaps one of the most intelligent teachers i have come to know.
to affect change in this world
to actually affect change on a large scale.
my passion is for the youth, that is where my heart sits.

im going to work towards solving issues for youth
first by finding out what issues i believe to be of paramount importance

i believe issues adressing

racism i.e personal acceptance of stereotypes leading to slef doubt and low self esteem.
identifying strengths of youth i.e personally and on a wider scale such as on a cultural level.
identifying the threats to personal development i.e obstacles.
seeing what the youth want from live, what motivates them.
target areas in auckland that need adressing.

the beauty of this all... it can be done
no ifs, buts, or maybes... this can be completed

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Some of my favourite quotes

When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words.

've lived all five of my acts, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest "He died."

Light bulbs die, my dear. I am departing

Your life is an occasion. Rise to it

I fell so completely in love with these shoes, I bought enough pairs to last my whole lifetime. This is my last pair.

Doctor

Inspired by a man with no name.

Love, the fleeting existence we are englufed by, is given purpose only by love.
Pointless life, made... worth something
By love
Love, the simply ridiculous emotion, no its more than that, it becomes chemical, physiological, emotionally and spiritually needed.
It is the reason for reason
It is what gave purpose its purpose
It is the thing worth fighting for the things worth fighting for

I love, i have lost, but in comparrison so litte to that which i have gained
I gained purpose to my purpose

I love
I am englufed by it
I love her
If you dont know who im talking about
I would question if you know what love is
The thought of a life without her, is the thought of the absence of life
Not death
Not life

Void

She... is my light, the thing of which i yearn.
i love her so